Seeing Red...

When you ask me what I want and I say, "that red one please", I wonder why you then choose to give me the purple, pink or even grey one. It makes me wonder - do you think I don't know what I want? Do you think that what I want is wrong? Do you think you know what I want better than I do and that, when you bring me that not-red one, I shall see the error of my preference? Why does it upset you, when the not-red-after-I-asked-for-red gets me looking a little disappointed? Why does it upset you when I don't say - "this is exactly what I wanted"? Why do you ask me why I don't have my not-red item on me all the time?

Here I am, wondering why you asked me in the first place, if you were not going to give me that. It may not make you happy to see me in red but, oh my goodness, it makes me ecstatic and... it's exactly what I want.

Rough!

Monday was a spectacularly bad day for me. It was like that flower pot in the photo. There I was, with my green shoots looking to grow and flourish and all and people just came by and treated me like a garbage can. I mean, did I look like a garbage can? Do garbage cans have potted plants growing out of them? Ugh.

But yes, Monday was just horrid. It wasn't just the train nightmare, which started with a subway track fire and affected many lines, including mine. It wasn't the very early appointment that I had to make, and I am still not a morning person. It was that, after all of that, I received devastating news. The kind of news that makes you flinch as you try to approach the memory of it, so that you can try to absorb and process it all. The kind of news whose repercussions have nothing good going for them. The kind of news you really want to find a space where you can live in complete denial of it all.

That was my Monday, dumped on, like a plant being taken for a garbage can, still flinching at the memory of it all.

Who's That Genius?

it is just about 7 PM and I just found out that today, Sunday, is National Ice Cream Day. I mean, really? On a Sunday? No one needs a National Ice Cream Day on a Sunday. You know when you need a National Ice Cream Day? On Monday. On a day when a long and bleak week lies ahead and it seems like nothing can lift your spirits. Can you imagine how you would feel if, on a day like that, someone said - Free Ice Cream! I know I would be beyond pleased. I know that that ice cream would give me hope that I could make it through the week. On Sunday, I wouldn't even think to check if it was National Ice Cream Day. What am I going to do now? I may just need ice cream to make me feel better.

Baby Steps... One More Time

Oh my goodness! It has been a long, long while since I wrote here. I got to the point where it was so long that I was embarrassed to write. But, yesterday, I thought to myself - this is my space, this is my writing and as long as I have thoughts, or something, it's not too late. So here I go, again, again again...