Thar She Blows!

it all seemed simple enough; take the call, confirm that i am indeed me and thus authorised to close the business long distance phone account. and it all started out well - yes, it's me. uh-huh, that's how i pronounce my name. no, no, we are sure we want to discontinue long distance on all the phone lines covered by this account. yeah, we won't need the business line anymore. of course, we have loved working with you. and then she said she was going to transfer me to an automated system that would spit out a confirmation number to complete the cancellation process. great! thank you, and have a great day.
then the machine took over. entered the number and got another one back. do over. same thing. again. and again. then the machined deemed me unworthy and sent me back to the mere humans again.
the woman asks me for my home number and i explain that this is a business account. i tell her that the machine asked for a phone number but i have three and no clue which one the machine wants.
"i understand completely what you are saying ma'am. what is your home phone number"
i explain again, this is a business account, covering several numbers, none of which is my home number.
"i completely understand what you are saying ma'am. you are supposed to enter your phone number."
yes, but i have several so which one do i use?
"i see. i completely understand what you are saying ma'am. give me one of the numbers and i'll help you."
so i give her a number and she taps away and states that she cannot find any information in her system. then asks me if i am sure that i have given her the correct number because she finds no records for this number. i confirm that i have. she asks for another number, which i give her. and she mumbles, "i am not seeing any information for this number either." silence. "well ma'am your account is cancelled. thank you for choosing our company." yes, on accounts that she cannot find in her system. because apparently i don't completely understand what she's saying.

and when that brain aneurysm, please make sure that this is on my epitaph.