How Things Change; How They Stay The Same

zip. 2007 just whipped by. i had barely gotten into the habit of using 2007 and now in about 17 minutes it will be 2008 already. you know what that means though? i get to reminisce again. and you know some of the best aspects of life involve strolling down memory lane. so here we go 2007:

i ran two half marathons. look out 2008, i think i have the bug.
i gained a scar and, thus, some street cred.
i fell even further behind on life. i have stopped keeping track of just how far.
i still dream of owning a mac.
i found a new tech love.
i finally used my scanner
i became addicted to more websites
i discovered the wonder that is the podcast.
i finished writing my first book
i reaffirmed how awesomely wrong i can be about people.
i went to zimbabwe, apparently the new home of the statue of liberty (yes, that is a not so private citizen's front yard)

though i am still working on doing what i resolved about 10 years ago, i do have things i intend to do in the new year - now about 4 minutes away - unless the microwave that is this world overheats and new york city drowns:

i am taking ski lessons (have already booked the first weekend)
i am going diving (as in scuba, not sky)
i am running in at least 2 races - hopefully full marathons this time
i will learn new things that may or may not help me live a better life

and i shall work hard to try to make sure all the children of the world get maps so that especially those in america, south africa and the iraq can find the US on a map, such as.

look out 2008, i'm staying and you're gonna love me.

I Want To Thank My Mom, And My Dad, and...

yesterday i was riding the train into the office. i was tired and the train was crowded; luckily i had a seat. not wanting to waste time, i pulled out some of my writing and was looking it over, seeking weaknesses and finding many. i was tempted to put it away and rethink the whole putting thought on paper deal. so self-indulgent and really, not as good as i thought. ugh. i made an executive decision to carry on at least until i got to my stop - i had nothing else to read, so i might as carry on. the train stopped and a guy squeezed into the seat next to me. i thought about projecting my frustrations onto him but then i realised that i have my moments when i squeeze myself into the unsqueezable seats - i mean, we all pay the same amount of money, what gives you the right to take up two seats? i'm squeezing.

so i return to the writing, adding words, fixing grammar and feeling sorry for myself. next stop. the guy gets ready to get up and says - "i'm sorry to be so nosy but i just had to tell you; that's a very interesting story."

i thanked so much, he must have been thinking - geez, what's the big deal? it's not like i'm giving you an award or anything.

but, mr stranger on a train - thank you.

Moses Supposes His Toeses Are Roses

i am the only person i know who loves andy rooney. don't ask me to rationalise it - it is emotion after all. but i just adore those last 5 minutes of 60 minutes where he gripes, sometimes about the same thing over and over again. maybe i like him so much because he is one person i don't mind listening to complaining. or maybe because i agree with him every once in a while. oh, yes and sometimes he just makes me laugh.

i am also the youngest person i know who loves 60 minutes. i have never started a conversation - the other day as i was watching 60 minutes - and had someone jump in with - oh yes, i love that show! i try to watch it every week. sometimes someone has jumped in with, oh yes, my dad used to watch that all the time. is it still on?

watching one of my favourite shows, 60 minutes, i have also realised that when people say "i could care less" it still gets on my nerves. granted, the english language is very often illogical - it is english, not math - but here is a phrase that could make absolute sense. for if you "couldn't care less" it means that you don't care since you could not care less than you do right now. so apparently in like the 60's this "i could care less" became popular in america and some person to lazy to say "n't" tried to make it okay by preaching sarcasm. but, quite honestly, i ai buying it.

Epiphany II

as i was dancing my way around my apartment a few minutes ago, it hit me. i now get why women wear such insanely high heels when they go out dancing. it so that no one will know how they dance. it could be that their sense of rhythm is not quite what the musician intended. maybe the moves are stuck in the '80s. perhaps when the beat hits them their flailing arms beat those around them. either way, once those heels are on, all one can focus on is not falling down and smiling to hide the pain of the foot bones being twisted into new and unfamiliar forms. it's brilliant!

of course if you actually love to dance and don't care what anyone else thinks, it can kinda suck. look out for the cracks in the pavement... those can be murder.

Epiphany

i now know what i want to be when i grow up. not be, really, but have to be more precise. i want to have a really important job. the kind of job that makes judges think twice before they send you to the slammer. the kind of job that makes judges hesitate before determine your sentence. the kind of job that dictates the terms of the sentence. because, you know, one never knows when one will be faced with the possibility of jail. i mean, famous people are in the news all the time for getting on the wrong side of the law; what hope could i possibly have of never getting into trouble.

there is this guy kiefer sutherland who i heard about. i read that he got pulled over and the cops found that he was driving under the influence of something that made him drive very recklessly. this wasn't the first time so, when he came before the judge, the judge felt that this time he had no choice but to sentence kiefer to some jail time. but this mr sutherland must do like essential save the world work because the judge the sentence around his work so he wouldn't miss a day at work while paying his debt to society. he got the option to serve half his sentence during his winter break and the other half during his summer break - as long as he served the full 48 days of his punishment by july 2008. yes, i envy the fact that he has enough vacation time to take 48 days but more than that i love how he can negotiate. how i would love to say - oh judge, you know monday through friday i need to go to work, you think we could do weekends. 24 weeks i'd have this pesky sentence out of the way.

talking 24, i think someone told me that this kiefer sutherland is known for resolving major life-threatening issues in ridiculously short periods of time, like a day or something. i guess, when you put it like that, it does make sense that he gets to gets some say in how he has to pay for his misdemeanours.

Thar She Blows!

it all seemed simple enough; take the call, confirm that i am indeed me and thus authorised to close the business long distance phone account. and it all started out well - yes, it's me. uh-huh, that's how i pronounce my name. no, no, we are sure we want to discontinue long distance on all the phone lines covered by this account. yeah, we won't need the business line anymore. of course, we have loved working with you. and then she said she was going to transfer me to an automated system that would spit out a confirmation number to complete the cancellation process. great! thank you, and have a great day.
then the machine took over. entered the number and got another one back. do over. same thing. again. and again. then the machined deemed me unworthy and sent me back to the mere humans again.
the woman asks me for my home number and i explain that this is a business account. i tell her that the machine asked for a phone number but i have three and no clue which one the machine wants.
"i understand completely what you are saying ma'am. what is your home phone number"
i explain again, this is a business account, covering several numbers, none of which is my home number.
"i completely understand what you are saying ma'am. you are supposed to enter your phone number."
yes, but i have several so which one do i use?
"i see. i completely understand what you are saying ma'am. give me one of the numbers and i'll help you."
so i give her a number and she taps away and states that she cannot find any information in her system. then asks me if i am sure that i have given her the correct number because she finds no records for this number. i confirm that i have. she asks for another number, which i give her. and she mumbles, "i am not seeing any information for this number either." silence. "well ma'am your account is cancelled. thank you for choosing our company." yes, on accounts that she cannot find in her system. because apparently i don't completely understand what she's saying.

and when that brain aneurysm, please make sure that this is on my epitaph.

Verbatim

just last week folk made a man cry to the press AND they forced him to state categorically that his words were not racist. shame on you, folk.

so this is the deal. there is a state senator in arkansas who is very passionately against illegal immigration. people have verbally attacked him for this tough stance and dedicated lobbying and he is very upset because the republican party has decided that the issue is too hot to handle and has left him "high and dry". so he is understandably, quite upset. and he is trying to explain how he feels to the mayor of fort smith, bill vines.

"I’m for sending the illegals back but we know that’s impossible. We are where we were with the black folks after the revolutionary war. We can’t send them back and the more we piss them off the worse it will be in the future. … Sure we are being overrun but we are being out populated by the blacks also."

and i am sure we can all understand his very real fears - the population of fort smith is about 77% white, 9.2% foreign born, 8.8% latino, 8.6% black, 4.6% asian and 3% other. you blink your eyes and you are being threatened with having to try to add up all these numbers in your head.

All We Need Is Love

yesterday was World AIDS Day. a great day for red ribbons and depressing statistics. thank goodness they don't even give us a day off from work to really think about it and, well, can you imagine if there was like an AIDS month? with all the pretty graph-making yet downright depressing statistics, i think it would take listening to bono and alicia keys on a red ipod nano while wearing a gap admi(red) t-shirt all at the same time to be able to ignore it all.

who wants to hear that south africans spend more time going to funerals than doing anything else? or that aids is the leading killer of african american women in new york (i would have guessed winter blues, but what do i know)? that half those newly infected with HIV in 2007 were under 25?

but just wait. i can see the day soon when World AIDS Day will be a glorious day of fun and maybe even super sales at the mall. where we celebrate the mass world action to eradicate (or at least make very rare) HIV/AIDS. and that day is right around the corner because there is no way we can sit around and do almost nothing while so many of our own die needlessly. right?