Is That You John Wayne? Is This Me?

years ago i was looking for a job and a headhunter called me. none that is appropriate in the workplace, i responded. of course, that was before i met oscar. so he advised me to get one. why? i wondered. well, he said, something nice and american like Mary or Susan. why would i do that, again i wondered. turns out that, according to this man, most companies wouldn't hire me with my name. apparently it is too intimidating to a hirer to come across a name that is new to them. qualifications be damned, companies are willing to run their companies into the ground before they hire someone whose name they might have to learn to pronounce. perhaps if my name were Axkilling McMassmurderer, i may have considered this suggestion. instead, after telling this headhunter where to get off, i carried on with my life, for a few years.

then i was back on the job market and decided to try something out. i posted my resume and applied to jobs using two resumes. both were identical except one had pandave's name at the top and the other had susan's. within days susan had been contacted by several companies; pandave was ignored. not a single call. completely forgotten. pandave started to wonder how she would feel if susan was hired. how would pandave feel about ceasing to exist (at least from 9 to 5 and at holiday parties)? how would pandave feel about having to cover up her dreadlocks with a straight-haired "work-appropriate" wig. how long would it be before pandave ripped of the wig, jumped onto her desk and screamed "my name is not susan!"

so pandave annihilated susan before susan destroyed pandave. the working relationship had turned sour. pandave was becoming bitter and her self-confidence was eroding.

and now i am thinking of putting my resume out there and the ghost of susan whispers in pandave's ear. she shakes her head and says "i don't need you susan. pandave can do and be herself."
"i see," susan whispers, her wig tickling pandave's neck, "i'll stick around, just in case."