If Loving You Is Right, Please Let Me Be Wrong!

I am not what one would call a fashionista - I break out in a cold sweat at the thought of browsing a clothing store. I will postpone a shopping outing until the day of the event I need clothing for but I will say this: I think that clothing should make sense.



And, well, open-toed boots do not even begin to make sense. For all the things boots are supposed to have been invented for - warmth, protection against the elements and even just looking cute - the open toed boots just fail. I can't wear those in the rain, snow or just plain old bitter cold! And anyone who tells me I look good in them just needs a new pair of glasses. Sadly those boots are not alone. There are several items that boggle the brain:



The sleeveless turtleneck! Because if my neck is cold, chances are my arms are too. In a related category is the sleeveless poufy coat. My friend who drives says it's handy when driving because then your arms are free to drive but your body is warm and you can jump in and out of your car and run errands without getting too cold. I love her dearly but it still doesn't make sense to me.

Thong underwear. I mean, who invented it? Was it a bully who wanted to spread the suffering on a global scale in one fell swoop. Oh, oh, I've got it. It was someone who was bullied in their youth. Their revenge was convincing the world that the "cool crowd", who tend to be former bullies, could only become more awesome by subjecting themselves to walking around all day long with a wedgie. Seriously, a wedgie? Very little is less uncomfortable.

Wearing tights as trousers. That is just not a good look. They are called tights and sold with hosiery for a reason. I'm just saying.

I know some will call me an outdated old fart and tell me to get with the times. "It's cutting edge," they'll say. And I shall wonder? Cutting the edge of what? Sanity?