Watch My Mouth

sometimes i find myself in a place where there are a lot of people driving around in cars and good weather. on these occasions, i have noticed convertibles breeze by with the tops down and, thus, been able to get a view of the person driving the car. most of the time, the driver of the car is a man north of forty years old. i see this and i wonder - does this mean that by the time one can afford one of these fancy convertible cars, that person is at the point where they end up looking like a dirty old man or someone caught in the throes of a midlife crisis?

so, a few months ago i was sent to florida for a week, for work. i went to the rental company to pick up my car and the customer service lady turned out to be a woman who used to live in my current neighbourhood. it was like we were old friends! she asked about restaurants and bodegas, and we laughed and bonded. then she handed me some keys and said, "you're from brooklyn like me so i'm going to give you a free upgrade." i got a convertible. and upon the insistence of one of my assistants, i figured out how to get the top down and we rode the town. she sat in the back seat, with her sunglasses on and a huge grin on her face while i chauffeured her around. the passenger riding shotgun complained that he couldn't feel the air conditioning with the roof down.

fast forward to monday when i found myself picking up a rental car in another part of florida.
"are you here alone?" the customer service lady asked.
"well, yes, right now i am." i responded.
"perhaps i can interest you in an upgrade to a ford mustang convertible?"
"oh, no, thank you. i'm here for work; i really don't need to be driving around in a car like that. thank you though." i couldn't imagine explaining that to my boss. i don't think "i was on my own" flying as a reason for an upgrade to sporty convertible.
the woman, nodded okay and carried on with my application. at the end of it all, she smiled up at me and said, "well, i'm going to give you a complimentary upgrade to the mustang. you have to get out and have fun while you're here. you can't spend all your time working!"
such a lovely person, she handed me the key and i thought to myself -

maybe i missed a key demographic of the sports convertible market - the single woman spending a week alone in a holiday destination.

either that or i look like a middle-aged man.