i am engaged in a project that i regretted about an hour after i began. i am trying to reduce the amount of paper i have in my life. doing so involves going through boxes and file folders and scanning and shredding and, finally, a whole lot of trashing. i thought i was done last weekend, and by done i mean i had scanned a lot, and trashed a lot but seemed to still have a lot. however, i was wrong. i went into our storage room in the basement and found a box labelled "documents". what? more?! how is that possible?
i don't know about you, but i am terrible at throwing things away. i have found that what i throw away i need a day later; you know, after the trashman has taken it all away. also, many papers hold a story, a memory, a history and looking at it brings it all back. if it's gone, is the memory gone? does it mean it never happened? oh my, i see how i have boxes and boxes now. and all this in a tiny new york city apartment.
so, today, i brought the box up and started going through it. a few moments ago i came across the beginning of a letter. it is a letter i wrote to myself years ago, to the future me. wrote it less than ten years ago and i wrote it to the me ten years in the future. this is what is on the paper:
Put pen to paper & start writing
Dear Pandave
It's been 10 years and what have i got to say for you, me, us? I won't say it's been easy because I have not always been as brave as I want to be, as honest as I should be, as strong as I dream to be. I wrote, yes, but not always. Sometimes it just gets too scary to be that open, no? I am better, though, than I used to be and that must count for something. You finished the book, no small feat, giving people that window into your soul, let people know how you think, giving them wind of your madness. But maybe that was the release -
and there the letter ends. so who knows what else the years ago me thought was important to say to the future me. or maybe that was exactly it. i mean, that's all i, me, we said. back to paper.
did i mention that i also started a clothing purge and donation project?
2 comments:
I moved at the end of the year and came across a box and by box I mean a big box full of mail that I have been meaning to shred. I remember once my folks were visiting and they asked why I never read my mail and what if I missed something important. I explained I made payments for all my bills online and also did online banking.
Good luck as you sort, shred and donate.
I will try to spring to it as well :)
What a wonderful meeting with your younger self!
Post a Comment