Showing posts with label messages in bottles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label messages in bottles. Show all posts
Sunday, December 31, 2017
The End, The Beginning, The Something
i don't know about you, but often i get sucked into the bubble that is my mind and the reality that i build for myself. sometimes it is a colourful, joyous space and one that is full of excitement, inspiration and hope. lately, more often than not, it is a space of frustration, irritation and sometimes downright anger. it can also be a very lonely space - despite the saying "misery loves company", my misery does not attract any friends. so, when i raise my head and i am reminded that there are things that can brighten the world and those things can be very simple and straightforward, i smile a little.
it's the end of the year, let me try to make it the beginning of the end of spending too much time in the bubble. here's to holding each other a little more (with the other parties' consent, of course). here's to recognising more messages of hope, joy and inspiration.
here's to the somethings!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
In The Stars
Once a fortnight, I pick up a free magazine that I read while waiting for the bus. On the back page is the best horoscope for Scorpio folk. I say for Scorpio because sometimes, when I have a lot of time to kill, I read other signs and I invariably come away glad to be a Scorpio. And this week it was as though the horoscope gods were sending me an action kick from on high. I quote:
Daytime. An empty room. Some wine spilled on the floor. Tile curling up under the sink. The fridge door is swung open and it is obscene. Upstairs there is shouting. Outside, sirens. Why can't you move, Scorpio? Why can't you just bring yourself to some small moment of action? This $@1% is depressing.
So, there it is. My small moment of action.
Daytime. An empty room. Some wine spilled on the floor. Tile curling up under the sink. The fridge door is swung open and it is obscene. Upstairs there is shouting. Outside, sirens. Why can't you move, Scorpio? Why can't you just bring yourself to some small moment of action? This $@1% is depressing.
So, there it is. My small moment of action.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
The Things That Stick
My parents and, by default, I spent many years in exile, waiting for Zimbabwe to come into being. Of course, they spent more years in exile that I did and, being that I was seven when we went to Zimbabwe, I had no idea that I was a stateless person. Once we were living in Zimbabwe, the parents insisted on our travelling around the country, and making history lessons out of these trips. One of our early trips was a tour of the places in which my father had spent his childhood. He took us to his old primary school, where the school buildings were painted a vivid blue, like the colour of swimming pools in the movies.
As we were in the middle of the school holidays, we walked around the empty school buildings, peering into windows and listening to him reminisce about being a kid. We peered in, trying and failing to imagine our father as a kid. The history lesson over, my geologist father took us into the schoolyard for a lesson the the stones and rocks there. He walked us over to a large rock that was rising out of the grass and tried to get us to believe that this grey rock, that he referred to as talc, was what was used to make baby powder.
"If you take a stone, you can write your name in the rock because the rock is that soft."
We were skeptical. Now, our father, as he reminded us often, was the smartest person around but write in rock? He handed my sister, brother and me each a stone and said, "Try it."
He directed us to the rock and we each took a spot. I reached out and gasped in amazement as the stone sank into the rock and the beginnings of my name were scratched in. The rock looked solid and yet I was pretty easily writing my name in it. We were all so absorbed by this that we forgot that, as siblings, we were obliged to be constantly squabbling.
"Step back, quietly." My father's voice cut through the peace. When he used that tone of voice, we knew to put our millions of questions on hold and simply act. We stepped back as he stepped forward brandishing a massive stick that had somehow found its way into his hand. He brought the stick to the ground and hit the grass over and over again. The, he moved the stick in the grass and, when he raised the stick again, a snake was wrapped around it and the snake was quite dead. I am not sure how big the snake was in real life but, to my eight year-old self it was ginormous! And, as my father declared, it was a cobra. Since he was correct about the rock, we took his word on the snake.
So there was my father, discoverer of writing rocks (I wonder if our names are still in the rock), killer of giant cobras (that had not attacked because for once in our lives we were actually quiet) and general maker of exciting days. And we had not even had lunch yet! And, as though the day was not cool enough, it turned out that he had spotted smaller talc rocks that we got to take home. There is another tale of how my brother ended up with an allergic rash from homemade talc powder but that is for another day...
As we were in the middle of the school holidays, we walked around the empty school buildings, peering into windows and listening to him reminisce about being a kid. We peered in, trying and failing to imagine our father as a kid. The history lesson over, my geologist father took us into the schoolyard for a lesson the the stones and rocks there. He walked us over to a large rock that was rising out of the grass and tried to get us to believe that this grey rock, that he referred to as talc, was what was used to make baby powder.
"If you take a stone, you can write your name in the rock because the rock is that soft."
We were skeptical. Now, our father, as he reminded us often, was the smartest person around but write in rock? He handed my sister, brother and me each a stone and said, "Try it."
He directed us to the rock and we each took a spot. I reached out and gasped in amazement as the stone sank into the rock and the beginnings of my name were scratched in. The rock looked solid and yet I was pretty easily writing my name in it. We were all so absorbed by this that we forgot that, as siblings, we were obliged to be constantly squabbling.
"Step back, quietly." My father's voice cut through the peace. When he used that tone of voice, we knew to put our millions of questions on hold and simply act. We stepped back as he stepped forward brandishing a massive stick that had somehow found its way into his hand. He brought the stick to the ground and hit the grass over and over again. The, he moved the stick in the grass and, when he raised the stick again, a snake was wrapped around it and the snake was quite dead. I am not sure how big the snake was in real life but, to my eight year-old self it was ginormous! And, as my father declared, it was a cobra. Since he was correct about the rock, we took his word on the snake.
So there was my father, discoverer of writing rocks (I wonder if our names are still in the rock), killer of giant cobras (that had not attacked because for once in our lives we were actually quiet) and general maker of exciting days. And we had not even had lunch yet! And, as though the day was not cool enough, it turned out that he had spotted smaller talc rocks that we got to take home. There is another tale of how my brother ended up with an allergic rash from homemade talc powder but that is for another day...
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Catcher!
words keep floating around in my head and they float and they taunt and they tease. and i tell those words, you just wait, once i find a pen and i'm done adding numbers and cooking and cleaning and staring into space and making excuses... oh you just wait, words, i'll catch you and then you'll see... you'll see!!!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Spring To It!
i am engaged in a project that i regretted about an hour after i began. i am trying to reduce the amount of paper i have in my life. doing so involves going through boxes and file folders and scanning and shredding and, finally, a whole lot of trashing. i thought i was done last weekend, and by done i mean i had scanned a lot, and trashed a lot but seemed to still have a lot. however, i was wrong. i went into our storage room in the basement and found a box labelled "documents". what? more?! how is that possible?
i don't know about you, but i am terrible at throwing things away. i have found that what i throw away i need a day later; you know, after the trashman has taken it all away. also, many papers hold a story, a memory, a history and looking at it brings it all back. if it's gone, is the memory gone? does it mean it never happened? oh my, i see how i have boxes and boxes now. and all this in a tiny new york city apartment.
so, today, i brought the box up and started going through it. a few moments ago i came across the beginning of a letter. it is a letter i wrote to myself years ago, to the future me. wrote it less than ten years ago and i wrote it to the me ten years in the future. this is what is on the paper:
Put pen to paper & start writing
Dear Pandave
It's been 10 years and what have i got to say for you, me, us? I won't say it's been easy because I have not always been as brave as I want to be, as honest as I should be, as strong as I dream to be. I wrote, yes, but not always. Sometimes it just gets too scary to be that open, no? I am better, though, than I used to be and that must count for something. You finished the book, no small feat, giving people that window into your soul, let people know how you think, giving them wind of your madness. But maybe that was the release -
and there the letter ends. so who knows what else the years ago me thought was important to say to the future me. or maybe that was exactly it. i mean, that's all i, me, we said. back to paper.
did i mention that i also started a clothing purge and donation project?
i don't know about you, but i am terrible at throwing things away. i have found that what i throw away i need a day later; you know, after the trashman has taken it all away. also, many papers hold a story, a memory, a history and looking at it brings it all back. if it's gone, is the memory gone? does it mean it never happened? oh my, i see how i have boxes and boxes now. and all this in a tiny new york city apartment.
so, today, i brought the box up and started going through it. a few moments ago i came across the beginning of a letter. it is a letter i wrote to myself years ago, to the future me. wrote it less than ten years ago and i wrote it to the me ten years in the future. this is what is on the paper:
Put pen to paper & start writing
Dear Pandave
It's been 10 years and what have i got to say for you, me, us? I won't say it's been easy because I have not always been as brave as I want to be, as honest as I should be, as strong as I dream to be. I wrote, yes, but not always. Sometimes it just gets too scary to be that open, no? I am better, though, than I used to be and that must count for something. You finished the book, no small feat, giving people that window into your soul, let people know how you think, giving them wind of your madness. But maybe that was the release -
and there the letter ends. so who knows what else the years ago me thought was important to say to the future me. or maybe that was exactly it. i mean, that's all i, me, we said. back to paper.
did i mention that i also started a clothing purge and donation project?
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