All About Craving

two weeks ago today i woke up and declared that i wanted chocolate cake. real chocolate cake. soft and warm and rich and fresh and, preferably with chocolate icing on it. so, it was suggested, by a wise man who has been living in the neighbourhood and actually explored it, that i go to the 4pm yoga class and get cake from a wonderful bakery around the corner. great idea, i was psyched.

later in the day, as i sweated in the hot and humid and very funky room and felt as though i was about to pass out, my mantra was "chocolate cake afterwards. as i came up from camel and dizziness threatened to overwhelm me? "chocolate cake afterwards."

class ended and i staggered to the shower and changed into fresh, dry and not sweaty clothing and headed out the door. adrenalin gave bounce to my step as my exhausted body rounded the corner to find... the bakery was closed! what a long and defeated walk home.

and for the next week, at every meal, i imagined cake for dessert and yet, somehow, could not think of where to get it. at the wedding i stuffed myself with calamari, italian sausage and other tempting food. i even had a mini chocolate éclair. i was stuffed and could barely even think of moving when the wedding cake came around. chocolate. but no space in my belly! i ate it and it was good but it came too late and the so the desire remained unsated. i came back to new york and still cake occupied my every other thought.

on tuesday i headed out to visit the doctor and, on my way home i passed a cafe and out front - chocolate cupcakes. with chocolate icing. i walked past, turned around and came back. so it was lunchtime, so what? i walked in and ordered my cake and a latte, grabbed a fork and some serviettes and sat down. next to me, on either side, diners ate salad, but i didn't care. you know one of the great things about being a grown up? most of the time mom isn't around to tell you that you can't have chocolate cake for lunch. uh uh. i'm sure new york could see my smile for miles. i wouldn't be surprised if the city felt a little warmer for about 15 minutes on tuesday afternoon.
ah... chocolate cake.