I'm Gonna Shoo-oo-oo-oot... The Whole Day Down!

so yeah... after running the marathon i had to limp back home. i had it all planned - 6 am flight that would get me back in new york for 10:30 where i could catch a cab to work, collapse in my chair and get at least half a day's worth of work done and not really have to use my legs.

we woke up at 3:30, took showers and headed out to the airport. the plan was to be there at 5am - nice and early for the 6am flight. we were 15 minutes behind time but that is not so bad, right?

we didn't factor that flights start taking off a little before 6 but security at the airport only opened at about 5:15. so what happens is that everyone who is early, late or on time for a morning flight is standing in line. longest line in the world. rudest tsa agents you have ever seen. people are trying to tell them that they have flights and they don't care. so half our plane misses the flight. damn those other folk stretching out and taking up two seats at a time.

so boston and i get to our turn in the line to rebook us on the next flight out of dayton.

"nothing until tomorrow," the agent says.

i start freaking out a little. dayton airport doesn't even have a restaurant in it. and the chairs look uncomfortable. and i have a job to get back to. then she tells me that if i can drive over to columbus, she can book me on a flight there. of course i don't have a car but one can rent cars at dayton airport so i say - book me because i am NOT sleeping in dayton airport. so boston and i are booked on 11am flights in dayton and we go downstairs and book a car. i drive from dayton to columbus, all the while looking out for a place where we can get a bagel (we are craving them).

did i mention that we woke up at 3:30 am? and that our luggage made the flight, even though we didn't.

about an hour and a half later we have checked the car in at columbus airport and limped over to the check-in desk for the airline. the guy takes our information and says:

"when you miss a flight, you are not allowed to change cities when you rebook."

apparently he doesn't know that i have been up since 3:30 am, i am not a morning person, my leg muscles are not working and i have just driven from dayton. he looks up and i think he sees the madness.

"but since you have come all the way here, i can put you on standby for the 9:45 and the 11am flights. i can only get you definite seats on the 3:20 flight which will get you to new york by about 7pm."

at this point, as long as i am not sleeping in the airport, i think i'm good. there is a bagel place in the airport and we feed the craving. of course we don't get on the 9:45 but we remember that we passed a bar on our way over to the departure gate. the self-debate (is 10am too early for a cocktail?) lasts all of 10 seconds. i order my vodka with grapefruit juice (that is a breakfast drink, no?)

the 11am is full too. we get quesadillas and more drinks. we make friends who are passing through as they are actually confirmed on flights. more drinks. we are carrying our marathon bags so not much is needed as a conversation starter. we meet an architect on his way to new orleans. a woman who used to run marathons before her arthritis got too bad (she had vodka on the rocks - hard core). a businessman who bitches about how an airline lost his luggage for a week - he's still waiting to be reimbursed. we sit through 2 bartenders' shifts. finally 3pm rolls around.

the flight to detroit takes a little over 30 minutes.

you didn't think that i had been booked on a direct flight, did you? nope. now boston and i have to try to get on connections that will take us home. boston's flight is earlier than mine so we go over to her desk first. i dash to the bathroom and come back to find that boston is not happy. they have told her that she has to pay $25 to be put on STANDBY for the flight. she asks why and there is no reason but agent says she is not going anywhere until she pays $25. she wants to see the supervisor. i have to get to the other end of the airport and no running is happening today so i hobble off and head for my gate, all hope gone. i walk up to the agent:

"is this flight full?"

"completely." my shoulders sag in defeat. i am thinking i may have to start shopping for an apartment in detroit. "but what's your story."

i try to put my day into a nutshell and he is punching information into a computer.

"you were confirmed on the 11am flight and it was not late but you were not on it."

"well, the plane was full and so they put me on the next one."

"yes, i see that." another guy walks up and says, "can we put her in 4D?" (that's first class. i have been on that many flights in these last couple of days to know that.

"no, we have a premium passenger in that seat." i am thinking i may be bumped to the next flight and i am trying not to cry. and then, i swear, before i can even blink i have a boarding pass in hand, for a seat in an exit row (extra leg room).

"is that for me?" i look behind me to see if someone is standing behind me, but i am all alone. i take the pass before they change their minds and thank them several times.

i call boston, who is still pissed off and not on a flight. i tell her that people are nicer on this side of the airport and so she comes over and in two minutes she is on the 7pm flight out of detroit.

and me? an air stewardess on my flight has gone awol. flight is delayed for about an hour as they try to find her. we have to settle for a replacement. everyone is irritated. i am the only one smiling. i am not sleeping in an airport.

i get to new york at around 8pm (half afraid someone will tell me i am actually in atlanta and still have to take another flight to get home) and find my bag being kept company by the bags of those who are still, presumably, stuck in dayton.

mondays... why do i hate them again?