Don't Just Get the Calendar... Use It!!

it must have been a little over a week ago, i went through my archives and realised that on July 22nd, it would be the second anniversary of this here blog. i was all excited and had all these plans to commemorate the day. and guess what? just a few minutes ago i thought, hmmm, when did i start my blog again? when do i qualify for a cupcake and ice cream? well then i am a tad late. i also realised that today i filled in several forms with the wrong date. i know i have problems with dates. it is not a new thing. the thing is, generally, during the week, one day is pretty much like the next or the day before and, well, the weekend is so short, by the time i realise that it's here, it's over. and then, to make things worse, what dates do i really need to know? mom's birthday, two brothers and one sister. in between it's all just a blur where i try to dance and sing and smile as much as possible. and does it really matter what day you do that on?

that said, i do try to get better. i have a calendar on my desk at work - i think i turned it to july (from may) a couple of weeks ago. i have a calendar in my kitchen. i have one on my computer. i set it as the wallpaper on my cellphone. what more can i do? wake up every morning and say - good morning pandave! today is thursday july 31st, have a great day.

in the meantime, i'm going to have a cupcake and ice cream. time is relative, after all, and right now feels relatively like my anniversary!

ADD...

i find myself on the road again for work, trying to figure out where and how to get my training in, but:

last tuesday i was walking to the track to do my "pick ups" (i say pick up because i do pick up my pace but it is nowhere near what one would term a sprint) i had an epiphany. i have never worked so hard at something i will never be good at. i mean, i might get better, i hope i get better, but i will never be good. the only thing i can hope for is that i am doing this when i am 90 and i can win in my age group because i am the only one in my age group.

and yet i still went ahead and completed my workout, even when the deluge came and all but four of us were left on the track, i kept plodding away. i thought, well this is at least the 4th time that i have been caught in the rain and if it rains on marathon day i am still going to have to run so, this is good practice. and i did my 12 miles on saturday and kept going even when it seemed as though everyone and their grandma was lapping me.

and i thought to myself, i wonder if i would have been a different person had i stuck with art even though everyone (myself included) said i sucked at it. would i be able to at least draw a stick figure that looked vaguely human? would i be a better, kinder, softer me?

then i got sweat in my eye and that moment passed.

Look Before You Leap

so, there is a website called one news now that is a christian news site that perhaps is not familiar with the phrase "there are exceptions to every rule". and there is an olympic sprinter called tyson gay. how did the two of these come together? well, first, tyson won at the olympic trials 100m dash and, second, one news now has a filter in its system that automatically changes the word gay into homosexual in any news text that it receives and posts on its site - erm, just so there's no confusion, i am thinking. then the associated press wrote an article about tyson's brilliant race that appeared, in part, thusly on one news now:

Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials

Tyson Homosexual easily won his semifinal for the 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and seemed to save something for the final later Sunday.

His wind-aided 9.85 seconds was a fairly cut-and-dry performance compared to what happened a day earlier. On Saturday, Homosexual misjudged the finish in his opening heat and had to scramble to finish fourth, then in his quarterfinal a couple of hours later, ran 9.77 to break the American record that had stood since 1999.

Homosexual didn't get off to a particularly strong start in the first semifinal, but by the halfway mark he had established a comfortable lead. He slowed somewhat over the final 10 meters — nothing like the way-too-soon complete shutdown that almost cost him Saturday.

Asked how he felt, Homosexual said: "A little fatigued."

The Important Things In Life

so i started a new job a few months ago and, after spending about a week trying to stay awake through training, i realised that there is a big hole in orientation processes. everywhere i have ever worked, there is one thing that there are no instructions on. and it is a very important thing. the bathroom. i don't know if the bosses think that, at this point, everyone knows how to use a bathroom properly, but they must use the same bathroom. they must know that this is not the case. unless they are the ones not using the bathroom properly and this could not possibly be the case in every office. i understand that this is potentially an uncomfortable conversation - perhaps akin to the birds and the bees talk - but it must be done. so to help, i have put together an outline of a bathroom/loo training session:

1. "if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie" - so much more than a kid-friendly rhyme.
2. you are not in your house - do not assume the loo flushes as well as in your private abode. make sure it's all gone before you head out of the head (you see, i threw a little bad humour in)
3. The wastepaper basket and the floor - two different locations, two different functions.
4. Air freshener is your friend.
5. Air freshener lesson 2 - like perfume, there is such a thing as too much
6. The sink area - not a collection area for your hair and makeup residue.
7. The sink area lesson 2 - the counter area is happier dry

i'm thinking that refresher courses once a year would not be too much to ask for. and maybe we could also have a series on using the paper towels beginning with - no one wants to try to dry their hands with the roll that you just plastered your soaking wet hand on in order to tear off a sheet. but... baby steps.

Lazy Sunday

how was your weekend? i left work on friday and ran a couple of errands - i needed new running shorts and a running skirt (my long pants weren't working so well in the hot humidity). and then i headed home for dinner and music. i remembered that my neighbour was performing at a local bar and so we popped in to listen to him and what a pleasure. he's great. marc anthony... look out!

saturday had me dragging myself out of bed to take a 10 km run. it wasn't fast but i read somewhere that "if it doesn't hurt, then it's called jogging". it hurt quite a bit so it qualifies as running. i got home tired but i had a list of things to do. i took a shower and headed out to shop for a bicycle. i am thinking my knees will thank me for that. i didn't buy anything but i was fitted and checked out the merchandise at two locations. i then went to buy a new pair of running shoes and headed home. i was supposed to pose for a photo project but i ran out of steam. i lay down to take a nap and got up drained. i tidied up a little and then i thought about doing things but my body wouldn't let me. i gave in and then i went to bed.

this morning i got up and dropped off laundry and then i went to the grocery store to get granola. i ambled over to the hardware store to pick up lightbulbs and a lockset. i dropped this stuff home and went to laundromat to wash the items i don't trust the laundromat with. during the load, i went to the cafe a couple of blocks away and had a cappuccino and croissant and read a couple of stories out of the new york times. i headed back and took my laundry home.

then it was time to pull out the lockset and change my locks. i pull out every screw i can see and nothing moves. i google "how to change a lock" but something is amiss. i don't get it. what am i going to do - my door is not looking so good right now. i find a random sentence that inspires me to unscrew a cylinder without fear. everything comes apart and i learn something - my door is made out of metal. and why does that matter? well, the new door knob has screws in different places from the old door knob. sooooo.... so much for the helpful guy at the hardware store. i now have to mix and match on a project i am completely clueless about. fast forward 2 hours - i am left with two doorknobs. one goes in but the other side cannot. i take deep breaths and try again. nothing. i walk away and have a nectarine and try again. nothing. i decide to do my hair and try again. nothing. so now i have a door with one doorknob, damp hair clean laundry.

totally ready for the work week.

My Peers... Oh, Those Peers

so, as i was saying, i was called in for jury duty, a duty i take very seriously. i am passionate about voting and i think that jury duty is important too. for if we do not turn out to judge our peers, then who shall do it? yeah well, that was before i experienced life with my peers.

So, after the video, we were not done. we were about to receive instructions. here is a summary:

• if you don't have a jury duty summons, please leave the room and go to the office down the hall
• please fill in your occupation and whether or not you will be paid by your employer for your time out of the office. we were even given pointers on what professions generally pay by default.
• don't tear off certain parts of the form.
• pass the completed form to the centre of the aisle.

seems simple enough. apparently not. oh man, i look around and people are all, what? what am i supposed to do? tear this? yes? no? what am i supposed to write on the line that says "name"? why are you passing me that pile of paper? because i am at the centre of what? oh, uh, okay.

and then the man in charge started whittling us down to those who qualified for jury duty. those who didn't included:

• parents who had to pick up their kids from school. who knew the system could be so considerate. i wondered how one would be required to prove that. a note from the teacher? the honour system?
• convicted felons. they can't vote either. i suppose once one commits a felony one can never be a member of society. not completely.
• if you couldn't understand what the guy was saying (because your english language skills were limited). the man in charge half-joked "funny how you could understand that!"

i remained seated. very qualified, it seemed. we then received the last set of instructions.

• we had to sit until we were dismissed - the jury work day ended at 5pm
• there were snack and drink machines in the room next door. food and drink were to be consumed in that room and not brought into the jury conference room.
• phones were not to be used in the conference room. all calls were to be made from the snack room

all that was asked of us was to follow these instructions and sit and listen for our names to be called. mine never was - perhaps pandave is too difficult to get one's tongue around. but instead i had to listen to a woman in the phone-forbidden conference room yakking, at the top of her voice, for the entire morning. i am wondering if she thought that turning her back on us to look out the window made her invisible and inaudible. i think others felt the same way because others followed suit. i was itching to walk up to them, tap them on their shoulders and say, "hey! we're still here, right behind you. and we hear every word you say." i was amazed that someone would be able to spend an entire morning chatting on the phone. who has that much to say?

there were moments i prayed my name would be called, just so i could escape the madness of the chatting and, of course, the eating and drinking that went on. instead, i sat until finally dismissed at 4:30pm. 30 minutes early and with a promise that i would not be required to maybe judge my peers for another 8 years. and after spending the day with them, i hope that i shall never need to look to my peers to judge me, not even on whether or not my shoes match my outfit.

Behind It All

so while my internet was down, the state of new york saw fit to call me in for jury duty. yes indeedy, a bunch of letters had determined that i might be a peer, fit to judge others. and i was convinced to go by their threats of jail time and a fine if i didn't make an appearance. so i got a bottle of water and an orange and headed to the court house. my water and orange were confiscated - apparently jury duty is like flying (no liquids). at least i had a bunch of reading material.

i headed up the stairs and into a huge room. what a relief; i had been expecting a cramped closet feel. i must have been looking friendlier than i was feeling because people ignored the empty seats and came to sit next to me. at a little after 8:30 am, the man at the front of the room called the room to order and invited us to watch the "orientation video". were we about to watch how to judge a peer?

the film opened in a forest where a man tied to some wood posts was being half-dragged. i was thinking - did someone put the wrong tape in. nope. this is how they get is passionate about jury duty. a movie about the history of judging folk. narrated by ed bradley (who told them about my love for 60 minutes?) who tells us that it is now "YOUR TURN".

so i learnt that in 400BC aristotle came up with the idea of a jury which was then thrown out by the romans who favoured laws and judges. but then we got to medieval times and the concept of "trial by ordeal". flash back to the forest. popular trials by ordeal included thrusting a hand into boiling water: if the hand healed in 3 days, you were innocent. if not, well then the rest of you was bound to be thrown into boiling water. another trial by ordeal - throwing the accused into water. if you were innocent, you sunk. if you floated, you were guilty. finally a question that had been swirling aimlessly in my head was answered - wouldn't you be dead in both cases? turns out that after sinking for a while, folk were allowed to jump in and try to save their loved ones from the water. ordeal did not always mean death. thank goodness for juries, huh?

did you know that william penn founded pennsylvania? a tad egocentric, right? yeah, he also had something to do with trials by jury. the film was about a half hour long and apparently changed the minds of several characters who told us how they used to dread jury duty but were now changed and happy about serving. i am sure they didn't have to give up an orange and a bottle of water to do so.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

finally, it is done. two techs and one engineer later i have my internet back. all in time to herald the end of my classes. now all i need my internet for is fun stuff. and this is why the wizard granted my wish at last. i mean why give someone internet so they can log in to tedious coursework, homework and exams. if i was going to skip down the yellow brick road, it had to be for smiles, smiles and smiles.

and what did i do while offline? i did think about finding the cures to all that ail us but somehow i found myself doing a lot of housework and moving my clothes back onto the shelves. another milestone - i am no longer living out of plastic bags and i am only moderately afraid of my poisonous floor. but you know what? it was like spring cleaning. i lined my shelves with vibrant lining and folded everything so it is all the same size. i am ready.

so i say, hello summer! hello internet! i'm here - look out!!