ADD...

i find myself on the road again for work, trying to figure out where and how to get my training in, but:

last tuesday i was walking to the track to do my "pick ups" (i say pick up because i do pick up my pace but it is nowhere near what one would term a sprint) i had an epiphany. i have never worked so hard at something i will never be good at. i mean, i might get better, i hope i get better, but i will never be good. the only thing i can hope for is that i am doing this when i am 90 and i can win in my age group because i am the only one in my age group.

and yet i still went ahead and completed my workout, even when the deluge came and all but four of us were left on the track, i kept plodding away. i thought, well this is at least the 4th time that i have been caught in the rain and if it rains on marathon day i am still going to have to run so, this is good practice. and i did my 12 miles on saturday and kept going even when it seemed as though everyone and their grandma was lapping me.

and i thought to myself, i wonder if i would have been a different person had i stuck with art even though everyone (myself included) said i sucked at it. would i be able to at least draw a stick figure that looked vaguely human? would i be a better, kinder, softer me?

then i got sweat in my eye and that moment passed.