The Important Things In Life

so i started a new job a few months ago and, after spending about a week trying to stay awake through training, i realised that there is a big hole in orientation processes. everywhere i have ever worked, there is one thing that there are no instructions on. and it is a very important thing. the bathroom. i don't know if the bosses think that, at this point, everyone knows how to use a bathroom properly, but they must use the same bathroom. they must know that this is not the case. unless they are the ones not using the bathroom properly and this could not possibly be the case in every office. i understand that this is potentially an uncomfortable conversation - perhaps akin to the birds and the bees talk - but it must be done. so to help, i have put together an outline of a bathroom/loo training session:

1. "if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie" - so much more than a kid-friendly rhyme.
2. you are not in your house - do not assume the loo flushes as well as in your private abode. make sure it's all gone before you head out of the head (you see, i threw a little bad humour in)
3. The wastepaper basket and the floor - two different locations, two different functions.
4. Air freshener is your friend.
5. Air freshener lesson 2 - like perfume, there is such a thing as too much
6. The sink area - not a collection area for your hair and makeup residue.
7. The sink area lesson 2 - the counter area is happier dry

i'm thinking that refresher courses once a year would not be too much to ask for. and maybe we could also have a series on using the paper towels beginning with - no one wants to try to dry their hands with the roll that you just plastered your soaking wet hand on in order to tear off a sheet. but... baby steps.