Why You Wanna Play Me Like Nintendo?

computer... we were doing so well. i treated you with the respect you command and, in turn you let me run programmes seamlessly. what has happened? what did i do wrong? so many times you have shown me that you are in charge and never have i tried to cross the line between computer master and mere human.

in college when, two weeks before the end of the semester, you crashed, taking semester statistics projects about discrimination at a&p supermarket and lynching somewhere in america, you brought me close to hysterical tears and forced me to spend another semester building everything up again. i learnt - save, save and make many backups.

in 2002, i bought an external hard drive to backup backup and save. but the new hard drive, it crashed. thankfully it had not fallen off the back of a truck so it went back to be replaced. in the meantime, your warranty expired and a week later, so did you. and yes, the backup hard drive had still not come back. customer service was anything but a service. my letter to the ceo served to repair my cd-rom but nothing else. and then - because if it doesn't kill you, it will apparently make you stronger - my pda fried and well, my cellphone felt left out and joined the party. every number, email, document ever saved... gone.

no one would let me touch their machines. sometimes i was not even allowed in the room. what had i ever done to you that was so wrong? when did i become arrogant?

and now... there are 5 dvd-rw discs in my dustbin and programmes are hanging. it is 35 minutes past my bedtime and my stressed shoulders are hunched right up to my ears. i have begged and pleaded. what i am supposed to do?

is it time to get mad? time for me to tell you who is boss? time to switch to a, gasp, mac? what up yo? cos if you need attitude, i can give you attitude. hell, i can roll my eyes while doing the chicken-head neck thing and snapping my fingers. if i have to, i can bring it on!

but, ahem, it's all up to you...