What I Learnt Not Running The Miami Marathon

which turned out to be me not running the miami half marathon, even though they gave me a marathon t-shirt (because they knew what was in my heart). and i have an awesome medal too! it spins.

1. if you want your friends up and supporting you at a marathon that begins at 6:10 am, don't not run in the number one party location in america. even if you provide them with poster board. hence the photo above - no marathon pictures available.
2. 13.1 miles is a heck of a distance, even when not running it. i must say that i finished in a very respectable time of 2hrs 44 min.
3. friends and family do pitch up - closer to 11am (an hour and a half after one has finished not running the half marathon - and yes it was my own fault for not going more slowly). and their very vocal support of you while you are waiting in line for a massage, kinda makes up for their not making it to mile 7 as promised.
4. when not running, keep your eye out for the cameras and make a show of running, smiling and waving (or doing the thumbs up). i am sure i look very athletic in the pictures on the website. and very happy to be up that early in the morning. even though it rained. a lot.
5. breast implants - even impressive ones - do not keep women from running marathons (or men either, i'm sure). and it allows one to wear the skimpiest tops without any concern.
6. there are a lot of porta potties in this world. a lot. and they all have long lines outside them.
7. the sleepiness that you felt at 3:30 when you had to get up to get to the starting line comes right back as soon as you cross the finish line. they shoulda had beds.
8. when not running, after having your heart set on running, you will experience a lot of guilt. when strangers are cheering you on and you wish you could run for them but you can't really feel your legs and, when you can, you wish you didn't but you are full of energy from the waist up so you can scream and clap right back at them... yes guilty. then you try to run a little in appreciation of their getting up so early to be at mile 7 (really i am not bitter) and all you can achieve is a pathetic hobble.
9. even after not running a half marathon, you do not feel bad at all about the 10 chocolate chip cookies you eat. just balance it out with a couple bananas.
10. there is a lot of bleeding at marathons - men's nipples, a couple of women's feet. and i was told, as exhausted as you might be, you can still feel the pain.
11. you will also find people unable to move, with iv's in their arms
12. don't believe your marathon running friend who tells you she will stick with you throughout the race. do take an ipod for company - or be ready to ponder the deep mysteries of life. for example, who came up with the stripper's pole? who was sitting there watching a woman (do male strippers use poles?) taking her clothes off and thought - you know what would make this sexier? if she were climbing up and down it with the dexterity of our we-did-not-evolve-from-them fellow primates. now THAT would be hot. yep... take an ipod.
    

and for all the blood, sweat and tears, i have recommitted to physiotherapy because i am planning on running the flying pig in may. how could i say no to being able to say - i ran the flying pig?!