Zoocosis!

My daily commute involves rushing up and down stairways that are never wide enough and then crowding into a train car that is always too hot (and stinky) or too cold. On lucky days I get a seat but what is guaranteed is that I and my fellow commuters are too close together. It does not make for polite society.

At times the train jerks to a stop and, after a few moments, the train's intercom crackles to life. On the rare occasions that one can actually make out the words said by the conductor (do they do that on purpose?) one gets a message that must have been scripted by someone who lives in a civil society where each person has at least a square mile of personal space. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have been delayed but will be moving shortly. Thank you for your patience." Patience? Where are we? Not even in the movies are New Yorkers on a train patient. People are busy trying not to kick, bite or punch that person who is digging their elbow into them or that kid that is kicking them in the thigh. There is that standing person who is leaning their butt into your seated face. Oh someone just spilt illegal coffee on someone else and now an argument is going on and it's not even 9 am.

It would make more sense to beg - please try not to maul each other. Finally, after years of this, an actual subway rider got a hold of the message and made a change. Now we get, "we apologise for any inconvenience caused." Of course they don't mean that - if they did we would get a more spacious commute - but at least we are being given free rein to pinch that kicking kid.