Of Course, Random Internet Guy...

the email subject read:
CAN I TRUST YOU U$15,000,000.00 TO YOUR ACCOUNT

i was totally touched to the core. here is this guy who claims he found my contact address from the south african chambers of commerce and industry and so i know that even though i have never heard of this chamber, the guy must be totally legit. with such an impressive title, i am sure the chamber did its research and could totally vouch for my trustworthiness.

poor paulson benson, son of the late james benson of zimbabwe who was one of the biggest farmers in zimbabwe. his father, despite being a 'black indegene', did not support the president's ideology. as a result, the president's supporters invaded james benson's farm, burned it to the ground, killed him and confiscated all his investments. fortunately for the family, mrs benson kept "FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS" cash in a safe and was able to take this money to south africa. how did this man know that zimbabwe has my heart. i was barely able to read the rest of the email i was crying at this poor man's family's fate.

well, as refugees, the bensons are only allowed to take $2,000 out of their account to transfer anywhere and this is where i, highly recommended by the chamber of commerce and industry, come in. all i have to do is fly to south africa (i need a vacation anyway) and give these guys all my information and pay a bunch of processing fees that are nothing compared to the good i'll be doing for this family. i mean i may be shelling out all this money up front, but paulson will be entrusting me with US$15 million!!! the account will be in my name and he doesn't know if i will take the money and run. he is taking my word for it that i can be trusted - well mine and the chamber's. and in return i will receive 20% of the $15 million. that is not all. to cover all my upfront expenses on these frozen funds, i will receive a further 5% of the 15 million. that's a whopping $750,000, just for upfront expenses. and i am sure i won't be expected to outlay that much money. and then for my kindness the family unanimously agreed to offer me that 20% or 3 million dollars. wow. just for trusting me. and just because they didn't know me by name and instead referred to me as managing director/ceo (perhaps that is how i am listed by the chamber) that doesn't mean this guy is off. i am off to do good for the disenfranchised.

so, i've put in for vacation time and i am about to give this guy a call so he can take down all my personal information and get the ball rolling. and all this, paulson promises, is 100% risk free. philanthropy really pays... i mean in a purely spiritual way. i am already feeling all warm and tingly all over.

woops... seems i am supposed to have kept this absolutely confidential and secret (they have promised to do the same) or it may jeopardise their asylum in south africa and they may be sent back to face unknown danger. and then who will take care of their US$15,000,000. darn!